Millennials according to the media

Source: Flickr via Colleen Simon for

I am a Millennial. I was born in 1995 – the same year eBay launched, TLC topped the charts, and Time Magazine selected Newt Gingrich as “Man of the Year.” Based on my date of birth, I can learn exactly who I am according to today’s headlines.

I am clueless about cellphone etiquette, despite existing before the advent of smartphones, flip phones, and even texting. The Washington Post agrees, reporting that “a third of Millennials whip out their cellphones in public ‘for no particular reason’.” I suppose this is one of the many side effects of being raised with technology, and The Sims in particular. Additionally, I am distrustful of the digital economy involving personal security. Of course, everyone knows the over-thirty crowd loves identity theft.

Speaking of the economy, CNN states that “market chaos” is most harmful to Millennials such as myself. Therefore, it makes sense that I lack faith in the stock market – however, NBC News experts claim this is a problem as well. Why shouldn’t I give all of my excess income to Wall Street? After all, I’m not leaving the nest, and I’m crowdfunding my college tuition. Whether irresponsible or ingenious, I am changing the job market altogether as a result. That’s right, I’m the one who chose to be an unemployed college graduate.

In fact, my liberal arts education is likely why my morals are fast, loose, and up for political debate. I’ll put out in ten text messages or less, according to Mashable. I might even identify with the one third of Millennials who aren’t 100 percent straight. (I know nobody asked about my sexual preferences, but I let some researchers publish them in the Washington Post anyways.)

Thanks to Market Watch, I am just now realizing that growing up is hard to do. Is it because I have a bleak future, as The Week Magazine says? Is it because I’m reliant on social media, my parents, and memories that “only 90’s kids” remember? Is it because I’m investing my money in education, leaving myself at a loss for a mortgage, a 401k, and the stock market? Is it because I’m defined by the year into which I was arbitrarily born?

Major news media outlets report ad nauseam about Millennials: the “cohort of Americans born between 1980 and the mid-2000s” that makes up one third of the US demographic. We are polled, analyzed, and churned out as eye-catching headlines and statistics. We are labeled “diverse,” yet dissected by stereotypes based on our color, gender, sexuality, class, etc. We are framed in the context of conventional paradigms – but we are so much more.

My goal is to mitigate the negative portrayal of Millennials in the media. My goal is to demonstrate that we are capable of communicating without emojis. My goal is to promulgate ideas that might not appear on CNN, NBC, or FOX. My goal is to open up honest, bipartisan discussions to find common ground on issues that matter (not that cellphone etiquette isn’t dire to our survival as a species). This blog is ultimately about politics – but like my generation, it is about so much more.

Welcome to Politicana.